Joy Wong Ker Yen

post- MOP

Sat, 07 Jul 07 16:00:04 +0200

I've been back in Singapore for about a week and I'm convinced that I'm suffering from MOP withdrawal.
I play african music a lot.
I developed pictures and mailed it back to them.
I just finished making them a video which I have yet to burn.
And I think about them all the timeee!

It was a very tearful goodbye too which I think might have defeated the whole purpose of the trip because my being there left them more happy and sad.. so I feel quite guilty about that..
other than that it feels good to be home I guess :)
I've been sleeping loads so I think I needed this time to re-cooperate.
This has been by far my FAVORITE June.

I put pictures up on facebook :)

xoxo
me

In less than 24 hours..

Fri, 29 Jun 07 12:30:26 +0200

There are too many stories to tell and I leave tomorrow and I’m not going to tell them right now.
So instead of sitting in front of the computer for 2 precious hours, I’m going to spend the time with the people I’m going to miss like crazy.
They’ve become my friends you know? And it’s something that I didn’t expect coming into this.
I thought I’d love them in the day, recharge my batteries at night and love them the next day and so on and so forth.
But it’s not like that at all! I think I need them as much as they need me, which is why it sucks so much to leave. I really love them sooo much.
Anyway, that’s all I’m gonna have time for.
And I want to come back, I really have to.. because these kids are amazing, the house mothers are such a laugh and my heart grows a little everyday just being here.. if that’s not a good enough reason to come back I don’t know what is you know?
Alright, this is the last you’ll here from me in South Africa………………… for now ;)

1 week left...

Fri, 22 Jun 07 15:39:59 +0200

4 weeks is too short.
It's way way too short :(
I finally feel like I've settled and now I'm saying goodbye.

Anyway enough of that.
I have more fun facts about South Africa, or at least about Mother of Peace..
Beyonce's Irreplacable
Rhianna's Umbrella
and that song by Akon.. "nobody wanna see us together, but it don't matter no.."
are HUGE hits here haha you'll hear them at least 3 times a day and everyone is singing to it all the time :) I'm gonna miss that
AND while i was doing the dishes the other day.. which I found is really theraputic for me because dishes help me sort my thoughts out! and i'll write them down in my diary which has depressions in it now from my wet hands...
Anyway I was thinking about the kids in the kindergarten... they are sooo young. Too young to be in a home like Mother of Peace which houses abandoned and abused kids you know? They've been on earth for at most 6 years and during that time they've been assaulted, abused, raped..I look at some of these children and see all that is beautiful and sweet in this world and I can't even wrap my mind around how something so horrible could have happened to them.. how someone could hurt them like that.
There is a girl here who's 7. She's been raped more than once. The sick thing is it was her drunk brother who raped and molested her one night when her mother had sent her to her brother's room to get something. I think the trial against him just began... she's already been here for a year I think.
On a lighter note, all the kids went to the circus! like a real old-school lions, tigers and elephants circus.
The animals looked really sad though... then I remembered Dumbo.
ok last thing! (because I have to get going to buy groceries..)
I had dinner with 1 of the homes last night! If I haven't already explained it, the kids are divided up into homes of about 6-8children with a housemother and caregiver.. like a family unit. So I had dinner with 1 of the families and I cooked them some vegetables.. it was really nice. Its one thing to hang out with them in the day, but at night when they're indoors with their family, you can really feel the love between the kids and the housemothers and because I'm leaving in a week, I've decided to have dinner at different houses till I leave!
And... today we were sorting through some donated items so I posted some pictures of the madness!
enjoy!!

Safaris, bowling, bumper cars and beaches

Mon, 18 Jun 07 17:15:03 +0200

We had the weekend off last week.. which I have to admit, made me feel quite guilty.. but anyway 4 dutch girls and I drove up north for about 4 hours and stayed at a backpackers lodge. During which we went to a SAFARI!!!! for 12 hours!!!! and a boat cruise! I've attached pictures so you can enjoy the madness with me :)
I never expected to do any of this when I got here and I just feel so blessed :)
ALSOOO... I would like to update you on the recent events at Mother of Peace
Firstly, in appreciation of the hard work the house mothers have been doing for the children... (they run the household of about 6-9 children).. we took them out for a surprise night of bowling and bumper cars! they had sooo much fun. We hope to make it a monthly thing.. to create something out of the norm you know? Something they can look forward to and bond over!
Anyway it was so much fun because you could feel their excitement :) In the bus all the way there they were singing and hooting and laughing heartly.. it was really nice. And they made so much ruckus while bowling.. like cheering after every person bowled and running to give everyone hugs, the other bowlers were flabergasted to say the least. By the end of the night they too were hooting :) Also most of the housemothers just held the ball in 2 hands and threw it down the lane :) many loud thumps were heard in the funland that night
Like I said... soooo much fun :)
ANDDD.. because school's STILL out due the the strike, we took the older kids to the beach! They had a great time too! The Indian Ocean is one powerful mass of water I can tell you that. But the kids had a ball and so did I :)
I have a happy story which comes with that too!
Here at Mother of Peace we have 1 set of triplets. 1 of which is slightly mentally and physically disabled, but he is very sweet. Anyway we were told that it was best if he didn't go with the group to the beach and so we were prepared to leave without him. But there were delays and when he got out of daycare (he's 10) he saw his brother and sister in the bus with a bunch of other kids his age and he ran over. He was standing right in front of me when we told him he couldn't go and I could see him tear up.. it was so heartbreaking because he knew they were going to leave without him and his sadness was so raw you know? I can't think of the word to describe it. Anyway, Byron (the guy in charge of us) told me that if I wanted, I could ask him housemother if he could go and to tell her that I'd take care of him.. which I did and he got to go! You should have seen him.. he was sooo happy at the beach. The waves grazing his feet made his eyes light up, it was very gratifying.
On a lighter note, because I'm here with 6 dutch girls, my diet consists of cheese, bread, salad and pasta... :) talk about packing on the pounds! haha and in retaliation, I cooked chinese food for them and it was a big hit!
Oh and there's an 18month old boy here that shouts "ma" everytime I come around, its sooo cute!
Also.. I think its safe to say that my dutch has improved leaps and bounds since I've come here.. and my zulu has too :) its crazy what you can learn when you step out of your bubble of home
oh and I don't remember if i've already said this, but the stars here are amazing... I can't even count the number of stars in the sky.. and I can see the milky way soo clearly.. its completely mind blowing
OH AND before I forget I just want to mention something that I've noticed.
I was talking to this really intelligent 9 year old at MOP the other day and she told me about her family and how that since she's been here they don't see her anymore... and I was thinking about it and I realised that these kids are here because they weren't safe where they were, but I get the impression that this girl and I assume other children here feel as if they haven't been rescued, but rather taken from their families. She gave me the impression that she didn't understand why she had to leave her family because she was the victim as opposed to the perpetrator being taken away from her. and I completely empathesise because it makes no sense to me too...
anyway I don't want to end on that note so I will tell you a cultural observation I made!
"JUST NOW"
In Singapore, "just now" means before
In Britain, "just now" means now
In South Africa, "just now" means after
go figure!

end of week #1

Mon, 11 Jun 07 14:22:40 +0200

ok, so I don't have much time at the computer right now.. so I'm just gonna tell a few stories.
I was at the daycare center a few days ago playing around with the kids outside and this little boy (whom I will refer to as Adam) was lying on the grass daydreaming.. it was very cute :) Anyway another boy who was feeling a little like roughhousing went over and pinned Adam down on the grass. It was all very normal childs play, but Adam started to cry.. sort of a moan. He wasn't in pain or anything, he kinda sounded like he was pleading for the other boy to get off and when he did, Adam just kept sobbing. I've seem kids cry before, but this was totally different..
the other kids looked at him and seemed to understand what was happenning.. and then I realised what was going on. Many of these kids come to Mother of Peace with a history of abuse.. physical abuse, sexual abuse, abandonment... etc. So I realised that when Adam was pinned down it brought back all his traumatic memories of being helpless as he was forced down.. it was so heartbreaking. I just kinda rocked him and sang to him till it passed.
ok next story. every month, the kids have a party to celebrate any birthdays they might have had within the 4 weeks, but there hasn't been one since january. so we threw one of saturday! The kids had so much fun :) I put the pictures up from the party in this entry. Anyway, during the party I met Kim, the resident nurse. She knows everything about everyone and she was telling me some of the stories of the children and how they got here.. most come from townships which are like shanty towns. Its the poorest of the poor.. zinc roofs, overcrowded.. no electricity or running water... the abuse of women and children are very high.
She told me stories of how some of the children come to MOP in really bad shape.. some have been severely abused by their mothers, other have been raped multiple times.. but she said that within a few days she'll see them running around playing with the other kids because they feel safe within the walls of MOP. It's like their sanctuary and they really flourish.
I'm so grateful to have been exposed to all of this, I'm learning so much!
The kids teach me their games and the language and the dances and I give them all the love I can muster up! It's working well so far :)
ok that's all I have time for!
p.s. School's still on strike and we can't organise outings for the kids because if they all go out on the bus at once, it'll look like a school outing and the children might be attacked by strikers...

3 days in : Mother of Peace

Thu, 07 Jun 07 14:57:03 +0200

There's a massive strike going on at the moment so school's been closed and I suppose it has happened at an opportune moment because we've been given the chance to REALLY spend time with the kids who range from babies - 18 years old.
I've been trying to learn zulu as well as everybody's names and failing miserably :) (no big surprise to those of you who know my skill with second langauges) :)
And I've been feeling really guilty about it too! They know my name , but I have to keep asking them for theirs and people feel important when you remember their names you know? So I've been getting them to introduce themselves on video so if I can drill it into my head at night!
In the late afternoons the kids play games they invented.. or soccer.. or they dance. Oh the ZULUDANCE they do is so much fun! I'm determined to learn it because its amazing and because I think it'll make them happy to see the volunteers more immersed in their culture you know? and I've taught them how to play 5 stones and that hand smacking game (bringing a little Singapore to them)... I can't remember what that game is called, but boy can those kids hit hard! My hand is seriously bruised, but they're happy so I'm happy :)
You know when I play with some of the kids and see them smile, its hard for me to believe that anything bad could've happened to them. Kids are amazing that way you know? They have the strength to bounce back... I admire them so much. There's this girl here who has the smile of an angel. Like seriously, its a beautiful smile, radiant is the right word for it. Anyway the fact that she's here already tells me that she's been hurt.. and she's 11. That's pretty old considering the statistics in this part of the world.. but still.. 11. You'll never see that anything is wrong when she's looking at you, but when you observe her when she's alone.. she has this heartbreakingly sad look on her face.. and you know she remembers everything that's happened to her and you know the things that happened can never be taken back. So what can I do? How can my being here be effective to their lives? I don't want to come here, hang around and leave without doing anything tangible you know? I'd like to think you can love people till they heal, but that's Joy logic and we all know how relevant that can be.. :) But that's the best I can offer right now... hopefully I'll get a better understanding of things and wow you with my ingenuity in the next entry :)
Anyhow, I look around at these kids sometimes and am baffled by how different my little sister's life is compared to theirs. Ally's 8. She hasn't been forced to fend for herself, she hasn't been violated, betrayed, deprived... she is still oblivious to the horrors these kids had to live with daily and I'm so thankful for that. But there is something wrong with this situation because love, security and comfort shouldn't be a privilege for any child. It should be a right.
Children are the future.
I know its a chiche that has stopped meaning anything...but really.. they are the people who are going to live in this world when we die. They will be in the world leading it or supporting it in one way or another. It is our job now to protect them.. to teach them.. and to love them.
I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God is behind it all. Most of the time, we don't understand why some times happen, but its not our place to understand. If we did, we'd be God!
I'm so thankful that he has given me this opportunity to love other people. I pray that the gifts he's given me will be useful because I feel a little like I'm walking blind. I have no fixed goal and it's so frustrating... but I also don't want to jump into anything without the proper information so for now, I'm listening and observing.
Enjoy the pictures! I hope they give you an idea of what I'm up to.
I hope you forgive me for the lack of structure in this entry... I'm typing things out exactly as they come into my head and my brain works in an "organised clutter" as with all other aspects of me.

24 hours

Sun, 03 Jun 07 17:28:36 +0200

I'm leaving in less than 24 hours and its really nerve wrecking..
I'm quite afraid!

1 more month!

Sat, 28 Apr 07 21:41:27 +0200

Hey everyone,
My name is Joy. I'm 19 and just wrapping up my first year at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. I'm from Singapore and I'm unbelievably psyched to be going to Illovo with Be More and Mother of Peace!!!!
I've been really overwhelmed with school lately.. exams and such and saying goodbye to friends who are leaving AND working on all that fundraising.

BUT I'M EXCITED!